Chapter 1: The Calm Before The Storm

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As seen written in her diary...


The storm is coming...


Most storms arrive when you least expect it (if you are careless, immature and naive) But sometimes ignorance is bliss because it is worse to know it’s coming when you feel like an arm less carpenter. I have only seen this one from afar, heard of people who have been in it or probably watched it pass me by. But now its time… My turn is here!

I can see it approaching me, I hear the hour bell in my head for the countdown has begun. I feel the torture of the calm and silence imprisoning my mind and everything around me. And the thoughts and voices in my head are incalculable. My mind drawing charts and running codes of all the possible events, situations and outcomes, trying to prepare myself for this storm coming up with no true solution. My heart telling me nothing, just beating hard. “Useless!”, I cry out with frustration. Being as stubborn as I can be, unwilling to give up, I still look for ways to deal with or at least be mentally prepared but to no avail. I know the actual torment will be far worse than what I can ever prepare for.

To think of being armorless and sitting in the heart of it all. To think that this storm will take me to a place I have never been before. To know that this storm will open and close doors I don’t know exists. To understand that this storm has the power to change my entire life and in a way I cannot foresee. To wonder which of the two 'innermals' (inner - animals) will prevail and have the better of me.

The anticipation is killing me... I just want it to be over soon and it hasn't even begun yet. I have no other choice but to wait and watch it come to me.. Are they dark clouds with thunder and rain or heat waves and droughts? I don't know what I am up against. And I hear the voice in my head say...

"Everything in it's own time!"


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