Chapter 6 - The Lost Rock

A Steady Rock, a Lost Soul and a Long Journey

She opened her eyes at that time of the day and it was still unusually bright. Everything that happened, just before those eyes were shut, was far behind, lost and gone, but not forgotten. What was present was that very moment. She could feel the presence of the four elements. The water that was flowing over her feet. The wind that was blowing on her face. The earth that she took rest upon and the sun that was shining bright above.

She was far, far away from home, alone but not lonely, on a new journey, a foreign land, surrounded by people that spoke a different tongue, and saw things very different from what she was used to. In that unfamiliar territory, the elements were the only things that felt familiar to her, everything else mostly unknown. She could make herself acquainted to her surroundings, if she sought to. She was tempted to divulge in a dip and swim away into the horizon of that lake, but she chose not to. This day had a different motive. The events that lead her to that moment, started materializing and appearing back in her mind and she thought of that rock again.

The gushing water that was flowing over it and drowning it. The howling wind that blew against it, weakening and softening it. The blaring sun striking it with its rays breaking parts of it down. And the grasping earth holding it still so it can’t escape. In spite of these bullies being so harsh on it, there stood that rock strong, steady and patient.

What appeared to be a struggle, was something different entirely. She envisaged the life of that same rock years from now. It was still the same rock, simply changed by time. The rock which once had sharp edges, was now blunt, which once had rough texture, now smoothened, which once had imperfections protruding out, now carved to almost perfection and which was once motionless, now agitated and maneuvering.

She pulled out her bunch of notes and read to herself,

The fire is already out, but the coal still burning. I have to make a choice. Smother the coal to put it out, or set out in search of fuel to re-ignite the fire.

I don’t know where or how to find that fuel, but what I do know is, that it is important and essential that I do this on my own. I don’t understand why I need this fire to burn but I believe that the fire will reveal the reasons I cannot yet comprehend.
I begin this journey in the search of my lost fire,

She turns over a page, and starts scribbling fervently.

I chose this journey to rekindle that lost fire and after months of preparations, several days of wandering, restless hours of almost giving up a hundred and one times, here I finally am. I almost lost my belongings, had the last sip of water hours ago, my bag containing nothing edible, my last meal being the first meal of the day. I suddenly realise that I am in the middle of nowhere, nobody knows me, I don’t know a single soul, I am afraid and I feel lost even though I know exactly where I am (a miniscule, insignificant dot in that universe) and yet all I truly desire is that my soul be inflamed. And that’s when it started to happen. 

Even though I cannot see the reflections, I can feel the heat rising up. From a small flame to a blazing fire. The rage of destruction and the desire of satisfaction in my core. I feel threatened by my own rage, and yet content with my own desire. It is both painful and wonderful at the same time. I try to control it, but it’s tearing me apart from the inside. I glance at that rock again, and now I understand. 

No matter if the water floods my way.
No matter if the wind blows my day.
No matter if the sun burns me down,
Or the earth holds me to the ground. 

The fire of my soul will keep burning away.

PS: Special Courtesy to The Seventh Treasure which inspired the writing of this post!