Chapter 4: Shooting Arrows in the Dark

Weapons of destruction, Winds of change, Love and Life

The storm was finally over leaving her with new lessons to be learnt. She had her ‘dark moments’ when time just froze and she went into a deep trance of nothingness. She envisioned herself standing in pitch darkness, surrounded by nothing, no noise, no wind, just emptiness prevailing all around, so much so that she couldn't even see herself. Her awareness limited to only the presence of her mind. It was like sleeping but being very aware of the moment.

In contrast to what people might conclude, presume, understand, perceive from this situation, she felt relieved. She knew she was alone, that nobody’s prying eyes could disturb her. It was this moment she could bring up any thought, any memory and project it into the blank space.

She picked the memories of the battle with the knight. She played it again and again. She learned that there were new lessons to be learnt, more battles that had to be fought with him in order to learn his ways. The same knight who spent most of his last few years by the same rules and yet not ignoring the good heart of life.

She kept in silence for a long time. And for each minute that passed in the silence swallowing her thoughts, she found an arrow. She collected each arrow and placed them firmly in her quiver. Re-building her armor and subconsciously preparing herself for battle. He reached out to her knowing already what she was looking for. But it was still dark all around and he wasn't visible to her eyes. She still kept her calm.

She kept in silence and calmness for a long time when finally anger clouded her mind. She pulled out her first arrow from her quiver with her right hand. Held the bow up. Fastened her arrow. Pulled it behind until the back of her ear. She took a deep breath, then stopped breathing, listened for his breath in all of the silence, aimed in that direction, closed her eyes and let the arrow slip out of her fingers. After the first arrow slipped, she kept pulling one arrow after another and she kept shooting not knowing whether she got him or not. She was shooting arrows in the dark which he could have easily defended being a skilled Archer himself. But he let her shoot never the less even though he had the upper hand in this battle. And she shot for a long time until he finally asked her to stop and disappeared.

His disappearance left her alone in the dark once again for hours together and she hoped that she hadn’t shot those arrows. But arrows once shot cannot be taken back. The damage was done. She waited for hours together hoping he would return with his armor and shoot back but he did not return until she finally gave up her wait and let it go. Once again she reminded herself, “When you look for something you will never get it, let it go and it will come to you.”

And he was back but this time with his arrows. And it was his turn to strike back and he shot for a long time and she let him. His shots were flawless. Each arrow hit her straight in the heart. She did not stop him and she let him finish until he had had enough. She was wounded just as much as he was. After he was done she realized two things. One, that she did not feel any pain and two, every arrow she had shot at him earlier had hit him. So she walked towards him without any words and started tending to his wounds. He struggled to stop her and tried to push her away, but she wouldn't be stopped. He kept instigating that she give up this struggle for the fear that he could hurt her again. But deep down she knew that it didn't matter if he did.

“I am a bird who will always fly and I am the wind, you cannot catch.”, he said.

“Be the bird and fly. Be the wind as you are. I do not hope to change that.”, she replied.

“Find another knight who you can battle with, I can only harm you and I cannot change the way I am”

“If you don’t want to be here then don’t be here, but don’t ask me not to be here. If you want to walk away, then do so if you must, but don’t ask me to walk away. You cannot force me to change who I am because of the gift that you have given me. I do not hope to change you, but I can change a few things... I can put a smile on your face when you are having a bad day. I can make you angry when you are happy. I can hug you and kiss you and make you feel better. I can be there for you when you need me.”

When she gave him the power to make her happy, she let him have the power to make her sad too. He had the power to change the way she felt. He had the power to pick her up when she was low, hold her close and heal her heart, and have her back when she needed to fall.  He did not know the capabilities of his own powers and he tried to convince her to change her mind for the fear of his own fears and insecurities. But she was young and had to make her own choices. And even if she was wrong it was still her choice to make.

She wrote,

Warriors and Knights

"Every common soldier learns to fight without an armor. Some move on from their learning ground to the battle field from wooden to steel swords. Some learn from their battles, some don't, whether won or lost. No matter how unaffected, indifferent they may seem, every battle will leave them with a new perspective, a new outlook towards everything related or unrelated.

Knights emerge from darkness. Warriors don't get dubbed a knight by putting on a special armor. There in only honor in the armor that is worn. The strongest of knights are ones who earn that honor by fighting the gravest of battles even after losing their armor.

No warrior is a knight without patience. Patience is a virtue that is learnt the hard way that is being left with no choice. No heartless warrior becomes a knight. Passion comes from the heart, that is what drives a warrior. A driving desire from within."

Life

"Nobody belongs to someone. Do not have any expectations, they will always lead to disappointment. Accept the winds of change. The moment you accept this you will be happy. Accept that the birds will fly away and never return. Birds are beautiful when they fly, be happy to witness such beauty. There is no joy in holding it in a cage. It will make you sad for sometime, let it. Wounds will heal, scars will be left, new lessons will be learnt.

Live your life like there was no tomorrow because tomorrow may never come. And if it does, it may never turn out the way you wanted. And that’s okay because your wants will change too. Enjoy everyday loving and being loved for as long as it is possible because life is not worth the hassle without the love. All of us ultimately live for love even though we get carried away from time to time.“

Nobody won, nobody lost or did they both win and did they both lose?
The truth is they both lost something that day... themselves and gained something better... the other... but may be not forever!